With regard to breaking silence and revealing through drafts and possibly published posts true and personal disclosures now in the places I left questions, or oddities, or built to be secret and secure, like where this is being written. The things I had to worry about are different now.
What would sound like paranoia or inflated self-importance and impossibly grandiose well, just doesn’t matter.
as its all now dead, stolen, whatever the thing is I was worried about in each case one way or another it wasn’t about out running, or outsmarting or anything so simple it was kind of like fate like those terrible b movies “final destination” there simply was no way around what was fated to be. I never would have believed that because it removes my ability to control that which is most important, but im not so sure about anything after all thats happened. And to be honest it feels now like an ending not a fight anymore and in any case there really is no way to look at it other than that I lost miserably.
I’ve since acquired and unlocked some other variations so more confusion is available. My proper name is not something I have yet.
Though as luck would have it legally I own it and logically I should be able to access it and administer it at my discretion with relative ease given that my business owns it.
ownership confusion
So what’s the problem?
The problem is that my business partner has taken what was ours and made it his.
Just try to picture Donald Trump, and his We’re going to grab, and grab, and grab” speech. Yeah it was kind like that I suppose. Not much ado was made over the innumerable consequences I might face large or small. And well I suppose I would rank this as small, as far as losses as a result of this mess.
Inconveniences have a bright side
Public perception, misconceptions, and missed marketing and social opportunities aside it is a huge inconvenience for me more than others and has for complicated reasons prompted workarounds that include even more alternate id’s oh yeah then there things like a minor contribution to a DOD/government project which crossed paths with my own federated analytics undertaking at the time and of course the credit is forever linked to this stupid name.
But because its a misspelling of my alias name its pretty quiet socially. Enemies cant take shots easily or steal projects, I’m working on I can do so quite secretly in plain view sparing me the necessity I would otherwise have of expensive beyond affordability pro accounts all over town, and that’s just the beginning of pain in the ass.
The things I’ve put in plain sight and accessible to all is against my nature certainly, but the extent of this is shocking really I imagine, it shocks me to think about but I needed to for sake of balancing time and finance.
When you are robbed blind and under fire with no defenses and have to build a shovel to dig out of the hole you have to face things like sometimes it absolutely will come down to doing the most reckless dangerous things against every bone in your body, rather than devote 20 minutes because the question comes up over sometimes hundreds of times a day. Better yet don’t because you don’t have time to multiply it out do have the math and make a decision next problem I hate it more than anyone but its been reality, and despite how it all may have looked then and certainly now, I was wrong about pretty much virtually nothing at least I can honestly say for everything that was truly a mistake I knew everytime that it may be so I did not get taken by surprise. Its outside the scope of this piece but I don’t make assumptions and wild guesses based on bad information, tainted evidence, I don’t ask someone in florida about the weather in california and then take that to a bookie and bet the farm. I can tell you about 3 people though that do that as a matter of course
Most are not significant, and I can still count them on one hand. Thats not arrogance, its a system I adhered to, and to make the claim I just did is the one and only reward the system offers other than that its just about other than the outcome itself and whether it comes with any sort of validation or credit, the reward the only rewardit’s arguable none were fatal, half ended absolutely fine anyway-and not because of luck, more like luck wasn’t so bad that a 7th level backup plan would be needed after all.
wa for instance and really is me wanting a kind of perfection bac Real security is a time consuming commitment that once started cannot be easily got around that’s sort of the point of it. I need to automate because I have more necessary than I can possibly do, adding more is not an option, cutting is. So that’s one good thing.
This site is by Ray Antony / Ray Anthony, and any other known aliases that are applicable and none that are not.
I abhor vanity in most forms, and am one of few atheists who find a way to persist in the belief that vanity, laziness, gluttony, self addulation and out of touch or over the top ego, greed, etc are all seriously sinful. It makes no difference to me that I don’t believe in God, it’s still a sin and I’m uncomfortable around it, one of the first to roll my eyes in fact. I truly dislake whatever sounds like bragging or ego, I am constantly self-conscious to a neurotic degree when it comes to speaking of myself. It’s why 99% of what I blog I don’t actually publish anywhere, and 99% of what I do I do under aliases or on behalf of other people. If nothing else I figure that since the pearly gates will likely not open for me anyway, I deserve a little something for my humility that I commonly demonstrate not through action but by my lack of actions, my silence in contrast to talking about myself. If everything else was fine, if anything else was fine, I wouldn’t blog about myself. I don’t like it, it’s not smart not for who I am. When I blog normally its as someone else for something else, its meaningless its just acting a role I’m good at but don’t take seriously because it’s just overkill and superfluous. To be me though, if I make myself look weak, my god look what 1 or two sharks did and in a way even unintentionally.
I said I dislike talking about myself so here is another installment in the too little too late series of pieces by and about me … sickening. The bright side is some people statistically would find it interesting, I mean Kim Kardashian is interesting and she doesn’t do anything so I do a lot, maybe I’m a little interesting? MY self deprecating logic. I don’t like having to do this but for reasons you have to read quite a lot of drivel on my site to really appreciate, I have to. So much that it may be the biggest mistake of my life, not doing more of it. So goodbye anonymity well not so fast, I’m posting on a mispelling of an alias of my name and for the moment the file is encrypted… But that must change.Namely because there is nothing left to lose.
I’m Ray Anthony, sometimes Ray Kooyenga. At my core I’m a sales guy. I’m also a sales manager, a business owner, an entrepreneur, an investor, and an engineer who builds front and backend web applications or server software. As a manager I lead by example my job has been to do this in front of other sales guys as part of my method for training them to do the same. I am mostly a business man, being able to build, rebuild, and takeover sales organizations, often to the top of their market, is what I am best at and occupies most of my time. I make things in an engineering capacity as well. Its not uncommon for me to code the software from germ of idea to production model to fit uniquely and specifically the marketing angle and add foundation to a sales proposition or pitch. I expect to then personally oversee that process, to scale. Contextual Ad Networks are not rocket science nor is marketing such a product direct at a 10k times markup as compared to Doubleclick, Adsense, and other pop traffic pipe dreams a new business may rest their confidences with. HD voice and video group or encrypted peer to peer? Sure. Mostly done with that since 2007. Iframe/html5 ads? I sort of ran the highest grossing office in the country and that whole industry until I needed a change. Recently in the California Cannabis culture some not so focused or well trained new comers are making their play at entrepreneurship. Sounds like a recipe for a place I don’t want to be, wouldn’t you know it though I’m right in the middle of it. Don’t do what you love, love just doing what you are both truly good at and not driven insane by. For myself that’s just doing some or all of the above. My companies combined with my personal projects combined number over 600 sites that dominate their market over and above basic top 3 listing objectives, which is but 1 small factor in the success of a business. For myself that I didn’t even mention my last project earned over a million and started from scratch including $70k in the first marathon 8 weeks, should serve as some proof I have more than a passing familiarity with what it takes for real SEO and building real businesses. I will consider intriguing and equitable business proposition but most commonly I take equity, as I’ve never not regretted building someone else’s business for them. If you have a high margin deal with a strong and unique competitive advantage that needs the sort of ability and passion I can bring, then don’t be afraid to seek me out as a partner.
I hate vanity as I’ve said but I hav e to promote whats good about me because I’m regarded as worthless to banks, to everyone. ITs that or be negative which just telling the truth is that I try to not write at al and just work but I’m abuot to die ther are circumstances so far out of control and so bad its its just the end if I cant pulll one last miracle and given thats the situation ever month and every quarter it seems an honest to god miracle can be pulled out but enough is enough. its been years.
I’m filled with rage that I have to do this but I have to say something and I don’t know how else to get a message out theres too much, I guess I turned the other cheeck 100 or 2 many times and now I’m at the bottom of a hole with nothing and nobody, and I’m literally going to starve to death or die of disease or just heartbreak that it all ends this way. But I try and stay chipper when I can.
After all Charles didn’t know he was leaving me for dead stranded in Mexico. Intent matters and I think that although its a reach he probably did think he was paying me back for secretly running a “lavish lifestyle with a thriving side business” it doesnt matter tha no tonly did I not, I had in fact no food no cell minutes, an eviction notice and $11 and no bank account or business paraperwork of any type when I got bakc from Argentina. I wouldve starved and been on the streets of mexico, that was the beginning not the middle, other than our mutual business I had nothing. So I can’t fault him too much I guess he thought he was defending himself, thought I stole his car, thought I was doing all these side things and so of course he told my new partners on the only projects I pulled out of my ass that and then the iced me out too. He didn’t know that was the first month to pay the court for the ridiculous ticket that landed me in jail on christmas, or that my lawyer who I had to beg to go to bat for me was all the money I had and that I hid in shame with the lights out, using my vpn’s and ripping out sim cards so a bounty hunter doesnt kick in my door. It’s a goddamn traffic ticket you don’t figure this is the consequence, so certainly he’s not thinking about who he cost me everythign I did to fix it like I did nothing at all.
He probably has no idea that I didn’t have a lavish vacation in South America, it was a disaster we actually thought we were going to die I almost got a job as a ranch hand just to survive until I could afford to come back and spent half the time shopping country to country for a chrome boook or similarly priced sub $500 machine to work on charles’ project it was that important I not let him down or even be allowed to think I wasn’t interested. I know what a bitch he is all sensitive and shit. When he tried to take the dollarsmart deal for himself behind my back he probablythought I took it from him. I have no doubt he didn’t see that 100% of the revenue was already being sent to him and that I was working for free while in my desperate state because that sounds crazy and stupid. When he went and built his own keyword network I believe that he really believed I didn’t have one done for us. Built beginning after he already diverted any money to his own acounts. I did it on my own dime with promises, favors and working my ass off and $10 in my pocket. Dollarsmart, Keywords 3.0 multi browser for the first time, reps hired for sales on his project, a built a whole team from scratch in a matter of days without even a bank account to pay out of yet, and of course when he went for FHI how could he know that it was worth so much money. Oh yeah because I told him? I believe he did forget that and that I gave him a vpn, playboys from 3 or 4 south american countries, and 50% of the profit of whatever I had from keywords and FHI the rest went to building a whole new company since he iced me out of my own, but I did that for us both cut him in to prove it, and the other 50%? Yeah I gave that away too it went to a partner overseas and it was 10% of what I owed him, I didnt keep a single penny. MY reward for that fantastically unbelievable gesture of generosity? he kicked me right back into the hole I moved mountains to get out of and then told the world I’m a drug addicted car thief, an embezzler, a liar, a “teenager” and a “black hole of money”.
Yup, and I’m leaving so much out to spare you! He’s monstrous no doubt and you need that edge sometimes in business but I think he has something some diseaase or mental breakdown, because he’s not this mean he’s just deluded himself that all these things are so not important they are not even worth remembering. I’m going to fucking freeze to death sleeping on the street or get arrested breaking into a car for warmth thats how isolated this has left me I have nowhere to turn, he has the bank accounts, my tax docs, every email and phone number and the archives of both and the only access to all communications. I am beyond fucked, I don’t even have an id.
It wasn’t much, but I covered gave him porn, privacy(as a then critical business tool), and a wad of cash and my promise. So yeah I can see why a couple weeks later he left me to die took everything, and lied to everybody tanking every relationship, taking or tanking every deal. In fact when I limped along and stayed alive and restored what I could afford to I bet in mid august last year he has not a clue his big mouth shut off my biggest back door with which I not only can take everything I built back which I this time the ecommerce site has literally clocked a million in cash at 70% profit, I was a week away from establishing legal ownership and poof. He got $2k, more than I got for the next 6 months. and 1/200000th of what I had to watch slip through my fingers just because if his fucking mouth. But I know half of it he doesn’t remember and the other half he doesnt think matters. He didnt gun for me, he tried to milk the situation and took $2k instead of splitting a million with me. and as a result he cost me my share. which I built only after he left me penniless.