proud only of being from nothing
Long way up
I hate pride, I hate talking about myself. I grew up a lot of time around hoods, too much. I hated them. If I had money success would be something I inherited, I never cared about skin color and find black pride ias offensive and ignorant as white power how can you be proud of something you didnt choose. I am proud to be from nothing because it means I can take responsibility for what goes wrong and know that its in my control to change it that makes things easier, simpler, and were I to not feel obnoxious and self conscious about it it also means at my option I can get credit for anything right.
Not doing so has cost me dearly. For reasons hard to summarize it may kill me sooner than later and take everything because I have a somewhat anonymous reputation. I chose that I can blame charles from not exactly making online a welcoming place no matter what I acheive but ultimately I like my privacy and odd idealist modesty too much and when I needed validation and credibility like I do to survive right now, its not there. For all those reasons and more and because pride annoys me, I hope to be forgivin this not very common braggadocios rant but if I don’t at least try and sell my self my worth on the basis of facts and what I have accomplished I’m sort of an embarassment to salesman the world round so here it goes. Here is my background.
Whose success and up from nothing is the very epitome of exception to the norm. Charles and I are similar in this way because we are the underdog bet against in the beginning and emulated and imitated ad nauseum by the end. It’s never luck all I need is a momentary cessation of bad luck, and if it doesn’t come I still get through.
And in the ascent to the big leagues was as always a fight nobody else can ever possibly understand especially if they got there by inheritance or by bank loan, criminality, or winning the lottery. I’m humble and secretive and hate talking about myself above all else, but not about this.
Here I am honor bound to speak up because I have worn every hat even at the same time as in 3 phones 2 headsets 2 keyboards, different voices and bouncing from closer to admin, to janitor, to customer service to accountant to sales manager to goddamn programmer. Whispering in one ear of my salesmen, the magic words to come out the other end for the win. I’ve had to hack google to build a scraper of exclusive ppc data of which I had all of, for the starter data before building my own harvester ip rotators, senders, but that doesnt make the win sales savvy does. So I combine the two I’ve a simple lead formula that has proved a 10x multiplier in every vertical I’ve yet tried and all these tools aren’t some one hit wonder that I build a startup around, they are the anonymous thankless components one of many in a series, that go into simply keeping the machine rolling. It’s not about being well versed in these things I’m not, I just do what it takes and love to create and solve problems and make the whole machine better.
I started managing my first call center with 3 months experience selling, or any job in life. I was a teenager, and I was homeless breaking into a vacant apartment to sleep. I bought a car with my first 8 hours paycheck. If I didn’t beat at least 97 of my 100 fellow salesman I wouldnt have the gas to come back the next morning, I was number 3 on my 3rd day and in the few months I stayed I remained consistent. A couple months after that I found a shop a humble one that would give me the shot I needed since lets face it I was inexperienced, and forcing out a mustache to hide my age. My point with all this is that was the cost of blowing my rep with family and getting arrested, regardless if I quit. Everything I have attained lost and reattained is always the same. Always a nothing so vacuous of advantage its a place of death and from their hopeless helpless place I choose to make the opportunity for myself and let others enjoy fates favors.
From this place, I reach the top every time and can still find a way to inspire excellence in those around me and make them up their game despite being lower than any of them would ever know maybe not long before. I am proud of this. It is who I am it is all I know to be. I don’t own a business I am a business. There’s black people white people fireman and children and heroes and movie stars and there’s me. I’m not any of them I am a business.
I don’t just identify myself that way I only identify myself that way it’s not what I do it’s what I just am. I learned binary and 80x85 assembler compiling by hand and making up math problems with a book i found in the garbage. I still don’t know what the thing even looks like, never seen one. A beauty though available now in full 1MHz clock speeds!
Before this I taught myself multiplication division and basic algebra starting in 1st grade. The multiplication one was 4th grade I was so happy when I was allowed to work from it instead of doing my own grade level I couldn’t believe my luck digging through the garbage when school books were thrown out, you’d think I was a poor kid in Bangladesh. In preschool I pushed over my bookcase and screamed pissed off that I couldnt read myself to myself the pages looked like dancing symbols, chinese. Before you picture some nerd with a complex or creepy high pressure asian parents, I also had long hair an obsession with classic rock, the doors, Jimi, Alice Cooper… Was god awful at sports and preferred using the time writing essays on the futility of PE class in modern education but
was pull-up and pushup champion in my class, and the classes immediately above and below me. I was a dark but decent poet, got arrested more times than I can count because that’s how my mother would ground me, by calling the police, I skipped 8th grade and did 2 years of high school with diploma, enrolled in college at 14 to take math and japanese business language but didn’t get to go. And I haven’t seen home since I was 15, I don’t actually have one but I did get to buy one for 500k in my 20’s without help, and park some nice cars there.
Every business Charles and I had up to the end was a million dollar earning company in its first year. Started every 1.5 years with a symbolic dollar capital contribution and physical assets of what came before. No bank loans. no help, and the first sales made before the ATM and LLC papers arrive in the fucking mail. check or wire at that,because merchant accounts are for pussy’s who like refunds chargebacks and coddling. and they are weak at least in relative terms